Welcome to the site !!
So you have a wrench on the outer part of the cartridge and a 32mm 6 point socket on the Fork Cap Assembly and its not budging correct ??
I am assuming you have already removed the outer cartridge from the tube (by removing the rebound nut) correct ??
Do you have access to a electric or air Impact gun ?? , if you can use that on the 32mm socket , while holding the outer cartridge nut with the wrench , it should come free , is this the first time the forks have been apart ?? , it should not be that tight , is it doing this on both forks ??
The rod sucking back in is caused by air getting into the inner chamber by means of the seal in the Fork Cap Assembly , it will have to be disassembled to replace the seal
I can give you a step by step on that if needed , or if the valving is stock , you can just get a new Fork Cap Assembly from Honda and be done
Here is a walk thru (if the images do not show up , i can post more)
http://www.crfsonly.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=40809