[nedirtbikr]

Got me a new truck!

I bought a new GMC Sierra, and returned to the dealer yesterday because I couldn't get the radio to work.

The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.

"Nelson," the salesman said to the radio. The radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?"

"Willie!" he continued, and "On The Road Again" came from the speakers.

Then he said, "Ray Charles!", and in an instant "Georgia On My Mind" replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say, "Beethoven," I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, "Beatles," I'd get one of their awesome songs.

Yesterday, some Mexicans ran a red light and nearly creamed my new truck, but I swerved in time to avoid them.

I yelled, "Azz Holes!"

Immediately the Iranian National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy On Scotch.

Damn, I LOVE this truck!

[CRF916]

[acjjkamp]

[crf100rider21]

Did you think that up all by yourself? Must have taken hours.

[woodsman]

I don't like GayMensCheriots normally, but I'd make an exception for that one.[/b]

[bocephus450x]

Ted Kennedy On Scotch.

thats funny right there

[Skoot22]

Ted Kennedy On Scotch.

thats funny right there

[nedirtbikr]

Can't take "credit" for this. It was emailed to me. I still have my trusty Ford Ranger. Will drive it until it pukes. I DO love that truck!

[woodsman]

Awesome! You will die before it pukes.

[230@#)]

I puke every time i see a ranger lol jk jk

[instigator]

Can't take "credit" for this. It was emailed to me. I still have my trusty Ford Ranger. Will drive it until it pukes. I DO love that truck!

My guess is you have cleaned up some puke already!

[woodsman]

I talked to one really pissed off ranger hater the other day. He drives a toy or is it a toyota? And had been pulled out of the mud no more than 5 times already that morning.

[dlpmx]

cute. Here I bet a few of the readers can relate to these.
25 ways to tell you have grown up...
1- Your house plants are alive and you can not smoke any of them.
2- Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3- You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4- 6:00am is when you get up not when you go to bed.
5- You hear your favorite song in the elevator.
6- You watch the weather channel.
7- Your friends marry and divorce instead of 'hook up' and break up.
8- You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9- Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up'.
10- You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11- Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12- You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13- Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14- You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's left overs.
15- Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16- You take naps.
17- Dinner and movie is the whole date not just the beginning of one.
18- Eating a bucket of chicken wings at 3 am would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19- You go the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20- A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good .'.
21- You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22- ' I just can't drink the way I used to replaces 'I'm never drinking that much again'.
23- 90% of time you spend in front of the computer is for real work.
24- You drink at home to save money before going to the bar.
25- When you find out that a friend is pregnant you 'congratulate' them instead of saying 'Oh ., what the hell happened'.
BONUS:
26- You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old rear

[bocephus450x]

1- 25 are true
26 was just hurtful (and true)

[woodsman]

And HOW many of these apply to you?