When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive....so, I took her to a gas station.....
> And then the fight started....
>
>
> ************************************************** *******
> I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Milller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
> And that's when the fight started.
>
> **************************************************
> **********************
>
> After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to
> apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my
> wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
> The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, That
> silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and
> she processed my Social Security application.
> When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my
> experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too'
> And then the fight started.....
>
>
> **************************************************
> *********************
> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school
> reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
> My wife asked, "Do you know her?"
> "Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
> "My God!" says my wife, "Who would think a
> person could go on celebrating that long?"
> And then the fight started....
>
>
> ************************************************** ********
>
> I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were
> alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
> Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!
> He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"
> So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which
> one are you?"
> And then the fight started.
>
> ************************************************** ********
>
>
> I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
> reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
> He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
> "Nah, she can order for herself."
>
> And that's how the fight started.....